*Disclaimers- This is my FIRST Fan Fic... All comments, suggestions, & flames welcome! (How can I get better without feedback?!) *S* aaeth@hotmail.com Gundam Wing Does NOT belong to me! The story is mine! The characters aren't.

Duo poked listlessly at his soggy cereal. ~Lucky Charms again. Same thing every day.~ He tossed his braid over his shoulder with an exasperated sigh. ~It's only 9 AM and I want to scream.~ Duo glanced over to where Quatre and Trowa were talking quietly. ~Quatre's been so happy since Trowa got a clue. Thank God. I really think Trowa will be able to help him. Now if only I could find someone to talk to.~ Duo's eyes slid over to Heero who was busily typing on his lap top. ~Yeah. Riiiiight.~

Duo got up and deposited the remains of his breakfast in the sink. With a jaunty wave he left the group and went outside, the perfect parody of excited energy. He did not notice the cobalt gaze that followed him.

Heero sat at the table and worked on his laptop. There'd been no missions for a while; he was getting bored. Everyone seemed to be feeling it, hell, even Duo seemed affected. He glanced over and, sure enough, the annoying American was only picking at the food he'd usually inhale.

Heero frowned. ~Something is wrong with this picture.~ Then he realized, Duo... he wasn't smiling. Heero shook his head. ~I don't see how that could mean anything! NO ONE could be happy all the time, not even Duo.~ But just the thought that Duo could be unhappy unsettled him. ~Well... its none of my business.~ Heero continued working. When he heard the scrape of Duo's chair he looked up in time to see Duo's usual manic smile in place and a quick wave before the braided boy flounced out of the room. Heero drummed his finders on the table. Why not? Heero pushed his chair back and nonchalantly followed Duo out the door.

Duo stepped out of the house into the sunshine. He looked back at the place he'd been living the past few weeks, just another one of the houses Quatre owned. ~They may not talk, but guilt money buys many things.~ Duo's eyes narrowed in anger. ~And the Winner family has much to be guilty for.~

Duo shoved his hands into his pockets and walked slowly around the old house. He was depressed, and there was no way around it. God, sometimes I get so sick of being the clown. But that was the role he played. He's done it so well for so long it's become second nature, but it takes a toll.

Duo let out a snort. ~Not like any body's noticed.~ He kicked at small rock then shook his head. ~Admit it Maxwell, that's not why you're upset.~ Duo's shoulders slumped as he had to admit the truth to himself, his depression had a reason... and the reason's name was Relena.

Stealthily, Heero followed his quarry out of the house. 'He looks beautiful in the sunlight.' Heero shook his head. ~Shut up! He's just a friend.~ The inner voice taunted again 'But you want him to be more. Don't you?' Heero frowned furiously, but making faces wouldn't make it any less true.

Heero watched Duo's progress intently. The other boy walked slowly, head down deeply in thought. 'Don't you wish he were thinking about you?' Heero squeezed his eyes closed and took a deep breath. ~Yeah.~ The voice shut up, and Heero redirected his attention to Duo, who was slowly making his way to the back porch swing.

Duo sat heavily on the swing. ~Yes the problem is Relena.~ Duo laid his head back and looked hopelessly at the porch ceiling. ~She loves him. I can spot that "I love Heero Yuy" look a mile away. I mean, I see it on my face every time I look into a mirror!~ Duo pushed with his feet, causing the swing to creak into a gentle rocking motion. ~The question is... does Heero love her.~ Duo squeezed his eyes shut. ~Che, stupid Duo! Of course he loves her! He hasn't killed her, no matter how annoying she is! Not to mention she'll be the fucking Queen of the World someday!~

Desperate for something to hold on to, Duo drew his knee up to his chest and squeezed. Duo swung his dangling leg listlessly for a while, then he pivoted and stretched out on the swing. Sighing contentedly he crossed his arms behind his head and stared into space. It's so peaceful here. I think I'll rest my eyes for a moment. He promptly fell asleep.

Heero frowned. Duo hadn't moved since he'd laid back on the swing, except to roll onto his side. Heero carefully crept up to the swing, and sure enough those violet eyes were shut. Well... only one way to be sure.

"Duo?"

"Mphmmmm five more minutes Father Maxwell..." and Duo began to softly snore.

Heero's mouth quirked into a small smile. ~Out like a light.~ Heero watched Duo for a few minutes before he tentatively reached out his hand and brushed the chestnut colored bangs away from the sleeping boy's face. ~It's as soft as I thought it'd be.~ He did it once more before he turned to go. "Sleep well Duo."

Something was tickling his nose. Duo lazily cracked one eye open, but then both flew open wide. Perched on the tip of his nose was the most beautiful butterfly he'd ever seen. It gracefully fanned it's blue and purple wings totally unconcerned with the smiling boy it rested on. After a few minutes it fluttered away.

Duo scratched his nose and sat up, instantly regretting falling asleep on the old swing. For one thing he now had an awful crick in his neck, and for another he was hungry. Duo sprang out of the swing. ~I can't wait to tell Heero what just happened!~ Duo stopped in mid spring remembering why he was out here in the first place.

~Oh, why fight it? Deoxyribonal here I come.~ Duo shuffled into the house. Humming he searched the refrigerator. ~Hmmmm lets see Saki, Jack Daniels, Vodka, Mad Dog 20/20, or Southern Comfort?~ Duo looked at the awesome amount of booze stashed in the small refrigerator. ~Did we have a party I don't remember?~ He stifled a giggle. ~It's always party hour at the Winner residence!~

"And the Americans drink free!" Duo glanced around guiltily, ~Whoops. I said the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud! Oh well.~ He snagged the bottle of Southern comfort. I could use a little comfort down south. And with that he walked to the room he shared with Heero.

In his room, Duo collapsed on his bed. He pulled a small key out of his pocket and unlocked the drawer beside his bed. He reached in and retrieved a small white bottle filled with the pills he only allowed himself to take very rarely. ~Well... we all have our crutch!~

Duo shook out a few pills and swallowed them with a long belt of Southern Comfort to wash them down, and as he did so the door opened.

"H-Heero!" Duo frantically tried to hide the bottle of pills, but it was too late. Heero had seen it.

"What are those?" Heero's voice betrayed no emotion. As if it could be Aspirin or Arsenic and he couldn't care less.

"Oh nothing Heero! What are you up to?" Duo wanted to be anywhere but squirming under Heero's scrutiny. ~I'll fight OZ by myself, I'll start arguing with Wufei about justice, hell, I'll listen to Relena sing until my ears bleed if he'll just let it go!~

"Duo." Heero successfully conveyed a death threat in only one word.

Duo guiltily handed the bottle to Heero. ~Knowing him he'd pull a gun on me or somethin'.~ Duo felt a goofy smile slowly grow on his face. Of course, finally seeing how he gets a gun from those spandex shorts... I think I could die a happy man. The smile collapsed when Duo realized that even his thinking was slurred. ~Oh shit. The pills are working already! Duo did some mental calculations. I took more than I should have, on an empty stomach, with alcohol.~ He mentally slapped himself... hard. Meanwhile his muscles were rapidly being relaxed, and the single brain cell that usually ran from his brain to his mouth was on a break.

Heero examined the bottle for a short time before looking up. "Deoxyribonal? Wasn't this banned in the colonies?"

"Yup!" Duo giggled. "But Professor G has ways around that!" And he dissolved into a fit of laughter.

Heero dragged a chair over to Duo's bed. "This says you should only take one... how many did you have?" If Duo hadn't been totally out of it he would have been suprised at the concern that was obvious in Heero's voice.

"Ummmm three or four... but I was feeling really baaad..." Duo cut himself off with a yawn. "Hmm sleepy..."

Heero was not about to be ignored. "But why Duo?! Why didn't you talk to someone? Why didn't you come to me?" Heero grabbed Duo's shoulders and shook him to keep him awake.

Duo opened his violet eyes and looked up at Heero. "You were the reason I was upset silly!" And with that he passed out.

Heero just sat there and stared at the sleeping boy his mouth slightly open in shock. Me? But why.. he couldn't suspect I... Heero got up quickly and left the room taking the pills with him.

Duo rolled over and buried his head under the pillows. ~Ugh! Why does the morning have to come so early?~ Duo turned onto his back and blearily around the room, no Heero. ~Man, I had the weirdest dream...~

Heero sat at the table. He wasn't about to admit to himself or anyone else that he was waiting for Duo, but he was damn it! Heero ran an impatient hand through his unruly hair. ~When is he gonna get up?!~ Just as Heero was about to forcibly wake him up, Duo sauntered in.

"Hey Heero! What's up?" A bright-eyed Duo busily went about making his breakfast.

"We need to talk."

Duo flung his braid over his shoulder. "Oh, can't it wait? I'm really hungry."

"I don't think so." Heero pulled the bottle of pills out of his pocket and placed it in the middle of the table.

Duo's eyes got wide and his mouth opened with a small "oh." Duo sat down across from Heero, his breakfast forgotten. "Then it wasn't some weird dream huh?" A still hopeful Duo watched the stoic Heero.

Heero just sat there. "Why Duo?"

Duo frowned in thought and played with the end of his braid nervously. "Why not? Sometimes I get pretty depressed, so I take a few pills to perk me up!" He flashed his best Shinigami smile... hoping that would be the end.

Heero wasn't fooled. "But why not just talk to somebody?" Heero closed his eyes for a moment. 'Do it Yuy!' "If not Quatre... why not me?" He quickly added "or Trowa or Wufei!"

Duo looked at Heero for a moment, then he burst out laughing. "Frankly, I didn't think anyone would notice, or care for that matter! Just so long as I can be your jester when you need me to be." Duo looked down at his hands, but not before Heero saw the despair clearly written on his face.

~Not care? Of course I care! Why would he think...~ the same small voice answered 'How many times have you said Omae o korosu? How many times did you just tell him to shut up?' ~Shut up.~ The voice was silent. Heero frowned angrily at this development.

Suddenly Heero got out of his seat and strode purposefully around the table. He grabbed Duo by the braid and marched down the hall, followed by a bewildered Duo shouting a chorus of "Ite-te-te-te-te-te-te-te-te!!"

Finally Heero and his cargo reached their destination, the bathroom. Heero flung open the door and turned on the lights. Then he turned to the slightly nervous Duo.

"Look into the mirror and tell me what you see." He left no room for argument.

Slightly confused Duo looked into the mirror, smiled and said "I see Shinigami!"

Heero crossed his arms over his chest. "No. Other than that."

More confused now, "Uhhh... Duo! The wise-ass from L2! Sent here to annoy everyone!"

Heero shook his head. "Try again."

Duo squinted into the mirror. "I give up! What am I supposed to see?"

'It's now or never big guy.' Moving slowly, Heero speaks softly. "What you should see is Duo, the slightly crazy American from L2. When he plays at being Shinigami he wears this manic smile, a smile very different from the genuine smile he shows very rarely."

Duo stares at the reflections in the mirror. He'd never seen Heero so intense. And what's more... all that intensity was focused on him!

Edging ever closer Heero continued "And that's really a shame... because it's a beautiful smile. And Duo has this gift of gab, and he uses it to try to lighten the mood of those around him... people who are too often grim and uncaring of his efforts."

Duo gulped. Was the room getting hot, or was it just him. Heero was far across the room, but Duo could actually feel him. And was it just his imagination, or was Heero getting closer?

"But they are never uncaring about him. I guess he doesn't get told like he should." Heero lowered his head. "And he's got this heart. It's so big. He cares about everyone, especially his friends. When they need help, he's there. And if he can't help... he finds someone who can."

Duo was stunned. This was Heero. Not that he minded at all... but questions were running all throughout Duo's mind. Not the least of which was, ~Could Heero feel for me what I feel for him?~

Heero smiled at the wide-eyed expression on Duo's face. "And he has the heart to search for a cold bastard who's self-destructed again." He closed the small gap between their bodies, and gently ran his fingers over Duo's cheek. "I see Duo, who thinks he needs to wear a mask and hide from the world his true self. But Duo, you're not shielding the world. You're hiding from yourself." Heero leaned even closer, and his last words are breathed into Duo's ear. "And Duo I don't want you to even try to hide from me the Duo I... love."

Duo's eyes which had closed sometime during Heero's speech suddenly opened at the relevation. In the mirror he watched Heero turn his head and close his eyes.

Heero turned his head away and closed his eyes. He waited for a punch, a slap, laughter... anything. What he got totally suprised him.

Gently smiling, Duo wound his arms around Heero's neck, and kissed those pouty lips.

Instinctivly Heero's arms closed around Duo's body. ~Damn he feels good.~

Duo fit perfectly into Heero's arms. He snuggled his head into Heero's neck. "I never realized..."

Heero smiled wryly "Neither did I..."

Duo got a very nasty idea and smirked. With quick hands he relieved Heero of his gun.... from the spandex shorts. But he didn't get the gun without... disturbing other things.

Heero jumped "DUO!"

Duo dangled the piece in front of him. "Want it back? Ya gotta catch me!" And with that he took off down the hall in a flat out run.

Heero just stood there for a second before he took off after him. ~When I get my hands on him!~ He saw the open door to their room. ~Think you can hide from me? Think again!~ He ran inside, and turned around in time to see Duo lock the door.

"Thought you'd never show up!" and with that he tucked Heero's gun into the waistband of his pants.

"What? Do you think I won't go for it there?" Heero quickly advanced on the smiling Duo.

"I sincerely hope you do." Duo turns out the light. "I really hope you do."